Have you been feeling unfulfilled? Empty?
It may very well be a sign that you’re not on your path.
When we live a shadow version of ourselves, we acquire habits to try and ease the discomfort.
We avoid confrontation aka not speaking our truth.
We put making money ahead of our emotional and mental well-being.
We don’t put our all into anything.
Thinking we can somehow contort ourselves into the box of acceptance we so desperately seem to want to fit into.
We keep making choices based from fear – thinking that somehow this time it’ll be different. Even determined that this time we’re GOING TO MAKE IT WORK.
You push through.
You push through and keep making choices based on what you THINK you should be doing. After all, you’ve already invested so much time and/or money into the thing and letting it go would mean that you wasted all of it.
So you push.
After all, it’s bound to make you money, make him/her treat you better, make you lose the weight.
You push. Oh, how you push.
And all the while, inside … You. Can’t. Breathe.
The pressure mounts.
You go through bouts of what feels like depressive episodes.
Perhaps you’ve become more of a recluse.
It feels almost painful to wake up – not in an “I wish I never wake up” sort of way, but an actual ache.
You find yourself exhausted by the end of the day … Which isn’t at all surprising since you’re expending a copious amount of energy trying to mentally psych yourself up in order to do the thing you think you have to do in order to get the money/body/love you want, or attending the thing you said you’d go to that you really don’t want to go to, or doing X for so-and-so which you don’t really want to do.
Sis, you need to stop, breathe and begin to prune your life.
No matter how much you try, if you’re on the wrong path, eventually the ‘thing’ will end up turning into a source of soul-depleting angst.
NOTHING is worth stifling your joy over.
From this moment forward, I want you to make a pact with yourself. That each day you will make a deposit into your “I got my back”, account.
Because if you don’t trust yourself, you’re not going to trust that you’ll be able to handle the discomfort that comes with growth, the discomfort that comes from holding boundaries, the discomfort that comes from putting yourself out there and then reading/hearing something negative someone has said about you, the discomfort that comes from pushing your body.
If you don’t trust yourself, you’re going to continue to; do things you hate in order to make money, be in relationships with people that take up a lot of mental/emotional bandwidth, and struggle with your weight.
Do something every day to build your self-belief/trust muscle. Follow through on the promises you make to yourself. Start small.
Brush your teeth before bed.
Make your bed.
Put the dishes away.
Just choose one thing.
And go prove to yourself what a badass you are.