If you actually want to love your life and not treat it as this thing you’re going to one day get to, there are four rules you cannot ignore. Trust me, I’ve tried.
Rule #1. Speak your truth.
Rule #2. Trust yourself.
Rule #3. Take more chances. Like, A LOT more.
Rule #4. Poop daily.
If you don’t follow Rule #1, Rules 2, 3 and 4 become increasingly more challenging.
There have been countless – and I do mean countless – times that I kept my mouth shut, that I walked away wishing I had spoken up, stood my ground, and berated myself for making the other person’s opinion/thoughts/beliefs more important than mine.
The result?
Overwhelm, scattered thoughts, needing to withdraw more and more, inconsistent motivation.
My drive was like Millie-Vanillie’s career, short-lived. I remember one day blow-drying my hair and getting angry for no apparent reason. Needless to say, my hormones were all over the place.
My bowels seemed to be just as good as I was at holding things in.
My hair started to thin.
EEEEEverything felt meh and like so. much. work.
I had to foooorce myself to work out.
I puuuuushed myself to build my business.
I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t cross anything off my to-do list because I had spent the day contemplating what was beyond bed and bath.
I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought it meant I wasn’t aligned.
I thought it meant it wasn’t the right time.
I thought it was because I didn’t know what my purpose was and I hung my hat on this.
I remember thinking to myself, “THIS must be why I barely have any energy and why I feel so passionless.”
So many starts and stops.
Each one chipped away at me.
Then one day I remember asking myself, “is this REEEALLY the way you want to spend your life?” The answer was a hard no.
I took inventory of the conversations that I needed to have, and everything I had been tolerating. From the needy friendships to the raggedy tea towels and everything in between.
And I’ve been chipping away at that list ever since. And with each check-mark comes a whole new level of confidence.
If you have difficulty expressing your opinion because you’re worried that others might not agree with what you say.
If you find that you go along with what others are saying even when you don’t agree with them.
If you feel uncomfortable when someone asks for your opinion.
If you are saying/doing things that you don’t agree with, you, my kindred spirit, are living out of alignment.
Self-censoring out of fear – whether it be fear of looking dumb, fear of losing a job/friend/relationship, fear of being outcast, or fear of the other person not liking you – that type of self-censoring kills your joie de vivre.
And every instance where you don’t back yourself; whether it’s standing up for yourself, stating your opinion, or following through on a promise you made to yourself – that shit chips away at your self-trust.
And if you don’t trust yourself to show up and stand up in your life, you sure as heck aren’t going to be taking chances in your life. You’re going to stay doing things and being in places where you can comfortably predict the outcome – even if it’s making you utterly miserable.
I get it.
It can be daunting AF.
But what is even more daunting is another year, another month, another week, even another day (because you know they all just run together and indeed already are) continuing to do things the way you have been doing them.
The question is, do you want to have radiant skin and daily poops, or nah? 💩
May your courage always outshine your fear. And when it doesn’t, may you remember to treat yourself with compassion, with love … and to dust yourself off and get back to the business of living your life.